I have never liked broccoli. It’s always wet and soggy, and tastes like green. And I don’t mean tastes like green in a nice, healthy way, I mean tastes like green as in eating grass cuttings. Horses like grass cuttings. I don’t like grass cuttings. Don’t let them eat them, they can get stomach ache if it’s fermented.
But in an unfortunate turn of events, I realised that there was a head of broccoli sitting in the fridge, about to go bad. Note that I did not buy this broccoli. I don’t know what possessed the buyer of this broccoli to buy this broccoli. Perhaps he was having a bad day and thought that buying broccoli would make him feel better. You know, in the vein of: “I’m having a bad day, the only thing that could make it worse is owning a head of broccoli”. *Buys broccoli* “Oh look, see how much better my day was before I bought the broccoli? Now I really appreciate my day, pre-broccoli. Life wasn’t so bad then”.
Anyway, I am in no position to speculate. I consulted Bel regarding what to do with this terrible vegetable, and she suggested either roasting it with cheese or doing a Chinese stir fry. I don’t really like broccoli in Chinese stir fry either, so that left one option.
The resulting broccoli was surprisingly tasty, so tasty that we burnt our hands eating it out of the oven dish. I would definitely make it again. Any accumulated likes, thumbs up, and gold stars will be sent directly to Bel. However, I still don’t think I would eat broccoli done any other way at this point. Broccoli-hater’s seal of approval, surely that means something?
Roasted Broccoli with Feta
Inspired by Ina Garten, but turns out I didn’t have half the stuff she needed so I changed the recipe a bit (loads).
1 head of broccoli
5 cloves garlic, crushed
80 – 100g feta, crumbled
A glug of olive oil
Salt and black pepper to taste
Oven temperature: 220 degrees C. I suspect it would also work on grill or in a toaster oven.
- Wash your broccoli. Dry it meticulously so it doesn’t get soggy. Break it up into little trees. Dry these obsessively too.
- Crush garlic.
- Mix olive oil, garlic, broccoli mini-trees, salt and pepper in a bowl. The broccoli only needs to be lightly coated with oil.
- Put everything into a baking dish. You can line the baking dish with foil if you want to minimise washing up later.
- Bake for about 15 minutes, until the tops of the broccoli bits go brownish and crispy.
- Crumble feta over the broccoli, and try not to burn your fingers eating it out of the dish. You’ll probably realise you didn’t make enough.